Once Upon a Time, There Was a Woman Named Grumpelstiltskin

One of the best jobs I ever had was working retail. Sounds crazy, I know. But I loved it. I worked with some really really wonderful people, had flexible hours, and got to be surrounded with beautiful products all day. Of course I had days that I didn't want to be there, or times when my feet hurt from standing at the register all day, but I was happy working there. It wasn't a glamorous position, I didn't make much money, and there were no benefits. And I really loved it.

One of the worst jobs I ever had was also working retail. It was a dark, dingy art supplies store. I worked every shift alone, wasn't allowed to have visitors, and was pretty afraid of the owner, actually. It smelled like Swisher Sweets and mold. Not exaggerating, my busiest day there, I had three customers. I think it was three weeks of working before I quit. That was the only job I quit because I didn't want to work there. Of all the jobs I've had, the only reasons for me to leave were because I was moving to a different town or because I was going back to school. I am loyal to a fault, have been worked hard for little reward, very often get frustrated with my office job, and am realizing lately that this is normal.

It’s kind of sad, right? That most people don’t enjoy their work. I get two days a week to work on the things I enjoy. Two days that are supposed to be a weekend – for me to paint, be creative, to surround myself with people I choose to be surrounded by... and the rest of the week, I do what I’m told, I follow procedure, and I get increasingly grumpy. I feel very much like I was tricked into believing, at one point in my life, that people can do whatever they want to do in life. Maybe this grumpiness is a normal feeling for someone who has just been out of school for a few years. Someone who majored in Creative Writing and Art and Design especially, perhaps.

All that to say… is this normal? Do you find yourself becoming increasingly bitter towards your “real job”? Or is it just me?

Sufficient

I've talked about Depression here before, and how it affects me and the people around me. Today, I'm feeling good - so don't worry, mom and dad, but I do want to talk a little more about a specific time when "the funk" as I sometimes call it, got ahold of me. I told this story to a friend yesterday, and was reminded of how powerful it was... or is, I suppose.

The year we moved here to Nashville was hard. Really, really hard. I was alone almost all of the time. Dave was working 80-90 hour weeks with many nights spent out at the studio. I had no friends or family in Nashville, the closest ones were 8.5 hours away. So I spent a lot of time by myself in our 530 sq ft. apartment. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and a lot of time spiraling into the deepest depression I've ever experienced. One evening, I was dropping Dave off at work for another 2 or 3 day period away from him and trying my hardest to not show him the sadness I was feeling. Basically as soon as he got out of the car, I broke down. I don't remember a time in my life where I was crying harder than I was on that drive home. I pulled over a couple of times because I couldn't see the road through my tears, and when I finally made it back to the apartment and pulled into the parking lot - I had had enough. I was sad and angry and alone, and I couldn't deal with it any longer. I remembered the verse in 2nd Corinthians that says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." And that made me more angry. I cried harder to myself and to God, and I said, "YOU SAID your grace was sufficient. YOU SAID you wouldn't give me more than I can bear. Well this is it. This is not enough, and I'm not able to bear this. I can.not. live like this. WHERE ARE YOU?"

I walked inside to the apartment still sobbing, still feeling sorry for myself, still unable to handle the sadness. When I woke up the next morning - it was gone. The anguish, the tears, the hurt... all gone. It's as if God was standing next to me the entire time I was falling into the depression, holding His hands above me with all the grace and love in the world, and that He was just waiting for me to ask Him for it. He wanted so much to let me feel that, but I was too focused on my own despair to come to Him and ask Him to wrap me up in His arms. As soon as I did, He opened His arms wide open and I finally felt it.

His grace is sufficient. And His power is resting on me.

Oh Dear.

I just decided to do a little organization of ideas. I realized that I have 35! people on my Christmas List this year. That list is just for my "homemade" Christmas friends. I was going to take a picture of the list and explain it to you, but then I realized I don't have time to do that and that there are more people on my list than there are reasons for me to waist time by blogging about how many people are on my list. If you're one of the 35! people on my list who are getting a handcrafted gift from me this year, I may become increasingly bitter towards you as the holiday season progresses. It's only because I love you and I'm an insane person, and insane people do this kind of thing. Bear with me as I begin my Christmas crafting. Oh heavens, here we go.

Missing Home

This week offcially marks the start of the 6th month I've been away from home. That's the longest I've ever gone without making a trip back to Missouri, and I certainly am feeling it. I don't know if it's the weather or the upcoming holidays, but I am ready for a trip back. Unfortunately, I have to wait a few more weeks until Thanksgiving.

I've been thinking a lot lately about family... about how it's so foundational, but it spreads far beyond foundation and becomes intertwined with every bit of life. I've been so lucky to have the family I do; I'm so so lucky.

To the family that raised me and to the family that I gained 4 years ago, you're family that has chosen to love me even after you were forced to love me - to all of you back in Missouri - I love you, and I miss you, and I'll see you soon.

The Infamous "craft room"

Once or twice, I have mentioned my craft room, my art room, or when I'm feeling fancy... my art studio. It is usually just a room where I can pile all my tiny scraps of paper, get paint on the furniture, and hang up whatever decorations I want without the husband getting annoyed. Me and my tiny bits of paper are like him and his cords. Millions of cords. All sizes and lengths. All different purposes. All over the house.

On a seemingly unrelated note - I've been sick for 5 days. A flu, perhaps, nothing of the swine variety, but annoying nonetheless. Because I've been sick for what seems like months and have hardly left the house (with the exception of a double feature at the drive-in, and a trip to buy some new fall clothes - half off all clearance, folks. Even sickness can't keep me away from deals like that) here comes the relation to the craft room... I was inspired to organize. I moved furniture, which I don't recommend doing if you've been asleep for 14 hours earlier that day, hung artwork and inspiring things, and finished up TWO projects that really didn't need to be finished.

It felt good. It feels good. I've been sitting in here as much as possible, when I'm not sleeping or moping in front of Dave so he'll feel sorry for me. The prettiest tree in the neighborhood just happens to be outside the window of my art studio, yes, it feels fancy today, and the yellow and orange leaves are creating some serious fall motivation. I feel very much like I'm a bear going into hibernation. Getting my cave ready for the long haul. Also packing on a few pounds, but that's not really a good thing, it's just a can't-stop-making-hearty-soups-and-chili thing.

Because I've finally cleaned things up in here, I decided to take some pictures for the world to see. Documentation that I can, in fact, be an organized artist.

These little suitcases are just the cutest, right? I wish I knew what brand they were. They house embroidery floss, buttons, and ribbon scraps. Yes, I have a container for ribbon scraps.

This bulletin board is a work in progress. The funky pattern in the bottom left is a tile from my grandma's old bathroom. I want to frame it someday. The map (which I bought thinking it was about 4 feet wide, long story) has little push-pins in the places to which I've sold artwork. And pictures of my sisters - wonderful artsy girls.

I finally found a place to hang these paintings, which I've been wanting to hang since I made them. Here's the description of these pieces.

This is the beautiful tree out my window. Not really anything to do with my organizational skills. But, pretty.

A DIY project I'm pretty proud of. Mixed nuts tins wrapped in pretty papers and ribbons. See, Dave... I do have a use for ribbon scraps.

This easel is amazing! My dad hand made this for my wedding gift. It's huge and awesome. Be jealous that your dad isn't as cool as mine.

This wall is a work in progress also. The painting on the left is a copy of the first painting I sold. The swirly, colorful thing in the center is a ribbon holder. My good friend, Lillian is going to post a how-to of one of these on her blog soon, so I'll let you know when that happens. And the painting on the right is one I did in high school. It's a painting of Dave from when we took a trip to Seattle for my brother's graduation. It's one of the first paintings I did... and it's really more sentimental than impressive.

Miraculous

This weekend, I did something I haven't done in 18 years - since my sister was born. I held a day old baby. Sorry the picture qualitiy isn't any better - but it's pretty decent for a cell phone picture.

This is my friends first little one, Abigail Katheryn. The doctors told them that on a scale of 1-10 they measure "perfection" for each newborn, and little Abby got a 9.9! I just can't imagine what that .1% is. Possibly she's just too cute, and that .1% is because they couldn't believe she was that precious. She even opened her eyes for her photo shoot. Sure seems like a 10 to me. Congrats Chris and Beka on a perfect and beautiful baby girl!

Peace

Something strange has been happening to me lately. I don't know what started it, why is has shown itself in my life, or how long it will last. It looks different than anything I've experienced before.

I'm pretty sure that it's contentment.

I've had such an overpowering sense of peace in the past few months and it's been strange to see. I tend to be the type of person who is always looking ahead to the next big thing in life, and I get anxious to change my surroundings (literally and figuratively). Even though several things I've been excited about have kind of fallen through - such as the nannying job I was so looking forward to, a couple of big art sales, and other miscellany - I'm just in a place of peace and joy.

A therapist told me once, "Joy and happiness are two very different things. You need both. Happiness is letting the outside in, joy is letting the inside out." So, I've been allowing happiness to seep in without the anxiousness that usually blocks it. I've prayed hard for this peace to last, for me to truly understand the hope God has given to me, and it's been followed by such joy. Filling me up and gushing out.

Mad Props

Helpful tip - If you click on these images, it will take you to a larger size. So you can actually read it.

I know I'm beating you over the head with this - but seriously, it's so cool.

These images are from the Relient K album that Dave worked on. His name is in there. Repeatedly! (Dave Hagen, Dark Horse Dave and Super Dave Hagen [my personal favorite])They're kind of hard to see here, so I suggest going out and buying it. It's a great album, plus, he can even sign it for you if you want.

I don't say it enough - but I'm awfully proud of that husband of mine. He was working 100+ hours per week while doing this project. That's literal hours, by the way. He was waking up at 5:00 every morning to work 6 hours or so at a job that's not fun just to help out with bills and neverending car repairs, and driving straight to the studio to stay up until the wee hours of the morning - because that's what we're here for. Rinse, repeat.

To the guy who deserves more than I or the music business can offer - congratulations.

The Inaugural Craft Night

Last night was the first craft night in, I hope, an ongoing tradtion. Great fun (and homemade chex mix) was had. Crafts were started (few finished), friends were made, and coffee tables were dirtied. Couldn't have been more fun.

While we were busy giggling and making stuff, I quickly realized how lucky I was to have such sweet, creative friends.

I can see this lasting a very long time.

The Pumpkin Patch

When I was younger, we used to go to St. Louis to my great-aunt's pumpkin patch. Hay rides, pick-your-own-pumpkin fields, and much, much more. It was the greatest expereince as a child, and I still get excited every fall when I think about taking a trip to a pumpkin patch. Though my great-aunt's farm is 6 hours away, there is one just south of Nashville, about 30 minutes from our house. We went this past weekend with some great friends and had a blast. My friend Angie took these photos while we were there.

They had some amazing bunting up in the barn, made out of bandanas! Brilliant! I'm planning on doing this someday on my back porch perhaps.

This is her sweet son, Logan, in the pick-your-own-pumpkin field. He loves to dress up! Look at that cute little vest...

This is Logan, Dan, Dave, and me checking out some amazing sheep. They're an endagered breed, I guess. Very soft and spotty.

Excitement

Tomorrow is a big day for this humble music business family. Tomorrow is the official release date of the album Dave just finished working on. It's Dave's first big album, at least. Although you can, of course, buy the mp3 version of it, you'd really be missing out on seeing Dave's name in the jacket. I suggest buying the hard copy...at a store...where they sell CD's. Yeah, they still do that. I know, it's crazy. But wouldn't it be worth it when you're holding it in your hand and showing people in the aisles, with an exciting, albeit crazy look in your eye, saying, "I know this guy!"

I mean, you're practically famous already.

Forget and Not Slow Down - Relient K

It's Starting...

It's October...eep! Fall is my favorite time of year, so SO much fun. Cable knit sweaters, pumpkin seeds, homemade soup, Christmas planning. (Don't tell my husband I said Christmas already. Seriously.)

If you know me in person, you know that I have a tendency to jump around in thought and in conversation. Today’s blog will showcase that aspect of my personality. Instead of thinking of myself as flighty, I like to think of it as quirky.

First on the list of jumping topics, I have lots of fun fall activities planned this weekend. I’m very excited about the first bowl of chili of the season (thanks again to the lovely Lillian), heading to the pumpkin patch with Dave and a few sweet friends, possibly an arts and crafts project with some awesome crafty kids, and some fall cleaning/organizing. I bought a new caramel apple crisp air freshener, and it's just pointless if my house still looks as messy as summer, right? So, cleaning it will be.

And some fun news – I’m hosting my first craft night next week! It’ll be at my house, in my craft room, I think – which needs the most cleaning and organizing. (Also don’t tell my husband that I admitted that.) I could not be more excited about craft night. It should be lots of fun – I’ll be sure to let everyone know how it went.

Some really fun news, for me at least, is happening on Saturday without me. I donated a painted window to a silent auction in the Nashville area and left lots of business cards. So, if you attended the silent auction, and you’re visiting my humble little blog because of that – welcome! We’re so happy to have you. Pull up a seat and stay awhile.

Lastly, please, if you haven’t done so, check out my new and improved etsy site. With the new pictures up, I think it looks totally different, and I'm quite excited. Here’s the link.

Have a great fall weekend, friends!

This Looks Like Real Art!

I've said it before, many times, but I have the greatest friends.  Really.  If there were a competition, I'd win.  

One of my awesome friends is Lillian B.  You can check out her website here.  She took these pictures of my artwork, and I don't know about you...  but I think these are a little better than my camera phone pictures.

Thanks Lillian! 

 

Twenty Days

Just realized this morning that it's been twenty days since my last blog post. This past couple weeks has been busy, but don't I always say that? Am I the only one who is sick of me saying that? I mean, everyone is busy, right? The month of September was, by far, the busiest week I remember having at my office and trying to get done ELEVEN! projects is just not happening. Not to mention, I volunteered for three more projects. Ahem. I really am a smart person sometimes. Sometimes.

Luckily, I finally had time to get some artwork done this weekend for a silent auction I agreed to help out with. I have a new painted window to submit - along with lots of business cards sitting near, of course. This window is actually my favorite yet and I plan to do many more with the same idea carried through.

Since my digitial camera has been laid to rest, here are some camera phone pictures...I know. I know. Terrible. But, I really like the window, and I want to share! The title of this window is River Stones.

It's metallic paint!

A Restful Weekend

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First, a brief customer service announcement...all 3 of you who commented this weekend are going to be getting a prize. But, please forgive me if it's not immediate. It will come. Now, on to our regularly scheduled programming.

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What do you do when you have about eighty art and design projects going at once (none of which are income sources - I may add), 2 house guests, a dog-sitting arrangement, and a long holiday weekend? Well, I'm so glad you asked. You sit around the house in the midst of the chaos playing video games with your sister, you go to the drive-in theatre for the special holiday weekend triple feature, you have dinner out with friends...twice, and you refine your ignoring skills. (With the exception of feeding the dog of course.)

What do you do Tuesday morning when it hits you that you have done nothing? You panic. You look at facebook for a while, you check over your calendar, you get some good ideas for, you're not going to believe this, new projects to start and you panic.

I hope your weekend was as restful and as lovely as mine.

Too Much

I'm swamped. Seriously busy.

But I haven't forgot about the six of you who read the blog!

To reward you, I'm doing ANOTHER giveaway!!! But this one is a secret. I'm not advertising this giveaway anywhere but right here. So, if you want to win a special little prize just post a comment on this blog. Any ol' comment you want. I'll draw a random number Tuesday morning, at the end of the long weekend (Hooray hooray for holiday weekends) and you'll get your surprise in the mail shortly, or in person if you're here in Nashville.

Shh...don't tell!

Beautiful, Beautiful Words of Wisdom

I came across this list today from a woman named Regina Brett of The Plain Dealer, in Cleveland, Ohio. She just turned 90 years old, and the list below is from her. I can't stop reading it. I've made it all the way through a few times, and I can say with all certainty, I will keep it close to me.

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
45. Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

Fun with Clothes

I may have mentioned this before - I adore putting outfits together. It is the perfect quick creative outlet for me. Mixing colors, patterns, textures, and shapes...heavenly. I can't get enough. Here's some proof.

On a related note. I'm available for wardrobe styling for YOU! And if you'd like any details about the specific items used in these outfits, just let me know and I'll send it your way.

Vacation: days one - three

Four

Today marks the fourth year Dave and I have been married. We've known each other for seven; we dated for three. In these past 4 years, we've had a total of eleven jobs, lived in six homes, gone through seven vehicles, and managed to not only keep our sanity, but also to grow up together. I was 19, he was 20... we've done a lot of growing up. We have each changed by immeasurable amounts, but every change we make seems to mimic a change in the other and we have become immeasurably closer through it. We teach each other, have so much fun together, and learn how life works together. Life isn't perfect and marriage isn't perfect, but I think what we have is about as close as it can get.

David is one of those very rare men in the world who is genuinely a wonderful person. Godly, kind, honest, intelligent, compassionate, and giving. He has seen me at my absolute best, and he's helped me be better. He has seen me worse than I ever knew I could be, and he has loved me still. He's a wonderful, wonderful man - and it's my pleasure and my honor to be called his wife. Happy anniversary, David. I love you.