Because my artwork has always been such a personal thing for me, a few pieces come out a little extra personal. Some of which I plan to never show the world. Ever. Others though, are very personal and still manage to eek out into public somehow. This set of 5 paintings is the latter. They are currently untitled because I'm not quite sure how to sum up all the emotion and love that went into these with just a word or two. Here they are all together.
The paintings are done on the pages of an old storybook, and are attached to old barn wood. The book pages are not necessarily significant, but the barn wood is. I wanted something damaged, beat-up, and dirty. I think it's important for people to know that beauty comes from despair. It's a lesson I have learned, and I'm sure will continue to learn. So, to turn old barn wood covered in mud into a piece of art was a way I felt I could represent that.
Each painting was inspired by one of my favorite verses from the Bible. Verses that mean a lot to me in different ways.
"gaze upon the beauty" is based on Psalm 27:4, which is "One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple."
Quite a bit of my dependence on God was taught to me through my dependence on people that couldn’t handle my dependence. They were not created to fill every need in my life. I know that now, and I continue to learn from those relationships. In the midst of learning those lessons, I often find myself crying out to God just asking for stability, comfort, or strength.
If I could ask the Lord for anything, just one thing, I’m not sure I would know what to pick. This verse says, “One thing I ask of the Lord,” and that astounds me. Not only does the writer choose just one thing to ask of the Lord - who holds all in His hand - but his one request is to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord. Just sitting at the feet of God, in His temple, in His time – gazing upon the beauty before him. With all my brokenness and selfishness, I pray that I will one day grasp that the one thing I need in my life more than stability or strength is to seek Him in His temple.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
Jeremiah 29: 11-14
One of the things I find about myself to be a stumbling block is my constant wandering, as I affectionately call it. I am always looking for a better situation, the next step, or the newest accomplishment. I have a hard time being content where I am. I always think that if I could just do this thing, then life would be better.
What I love about this verse, specifically, is the phrase, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.” I am a wanderer at heart and whatever it is that I’m constantly looking for – all the man-made splendor of society – is rubbish compared to what I truly should be seeking. So, instead of seeking the world with a half-hearted effort, God tells me to seek Him. With all my heart. And there, I will be content.
Well...that is the first installment of "You can't spell heart without art". Stay tuned for more. I'll give you a few days to read part one, since it's so dadgum long.