Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I'm reading a very cool book right now. The title of the book is Chazown (pronounced khaZOWN) and it's written by Craig Groeschel. The word Chazown is a Hebrew word that means dream, revelation, or vision. The book is all about finding vision for your life...something that this twenty-two year old struggles with quite often.

Although I am blessed to be employed when so many people are hurting for jobs right now, my job is not a place I want to be forever. I work for a small not-for-profit institute, and I am basically as high up in the company as I can go. I'm not the type of person who necessarily wants to be high up in a company, but I do feel as though I’m not getting the chance to use any of my gifts or passions. One passion that I have been thinking about quite a bit lately is my love for children.

I have always wanted to be a mother- probably since my little sisters were born. In elementary school when I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said "a mom." So now that I've been married for several years and having children is the next step, I am really feeling a void where that desire has always been. My nurturing self is having a hard time learning that I am only twenty-two and I am nowhere near financially ready to bring a new life into my home. But sometimes I wonder about my vision. My vision for my life is not something that has to come true. What if God’s plans for my life are completely different? I know that what He plans is greater than anything I could dream of. But how do I live in between knowing my life could be great and feeling that I’m missing something?

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